Match Report

SUHRFC v SURFC
27/09/2017 Trojans RFC

On a wet Wednesday at the ground of the Trojans,
The Moose and SURFC met to go through the motions.
To decide which team was the best in the city,
The weather ensured that the match would be gritty.

The match began with a series of naughty sins,
And very quickly the DOaR was sent off to the bins!
With just the 14 Moosemen the boys did struggle,
A SURFC try in the corner, scored by some muggle.

With a big Portas run, the oppositions 13’s arm got a booboo
After that he could only drop the ball, must have thought it was voodoo.
In truth the weather made tough work of holding on to the ball,
But our superior skills proved to be the oppositions downfall.

A risky tackle by Wand made a second yellow seem all but inevitable,
Alas the Moose could count themselves lucky, that the referee’s vision was questionable.
Reminiscent of Portas’s red card tackle of 2015,
It is no doubt the poor sod came up with a sore spleen.

The DoR finally found a use for himself, the new team towel,
With a dry ball and a 5m lineout, our pack let out a growl.
The line-out was won, a solid maul formed,
And with a deft Wandy peel, their tryline was easily stormed!

The score now 7-5, the SURFC pack started to get nervous,
Faking injuries to get off the pitch, doing their team a disservice.
The U10s on the pitch next door were showing their skills,
Had they been subbed on, we would have been in for more thrills.

The Bank had been quiet, still heavy from his dinners with the wife,
But 30 minutes in he awoke, and sniped through the defence like a knife.
The Moose had the lead for the first time of the day,
He even added the extras, a rare change from his usual spray!

With a Moose penalty awarded 30m from the line,
Bank opted for a shot at goal, hoping once more to shine.
The rain must have obscured his eyes, he hit the damn post,
The match was delicately poised, the crowd were engrossed.

Now Fresher Callum, (if you didn’t know, he has some wheels),
Went on a hell of a run from full back, leaving the defence on their heels.
An exchange with Jinquoi sent him over in the corner,
The score was now 17-7 and every SURFC face like that of a mourner.

Callum then showed off his football skills with a 50m volley,
Before Ruckland hit the line of the match, and boy were the supPorters jolly!
Clean through the defence just 20 yards out,
He really butchered the try, showcasing the decision making skills of a sprout.

The Moose were now in full control, SURFC looked shaken,
A Portas try came next, weaving through a defence that would not waken.
The conversion was slotted, the score now 24-7,
Every member of the club thought that we were in heaven!

The match was coming to an end, the fat lady was singing,
The Moose were ecstatic, the enemy whinging.
The game ended 24-7, minimal pleasantries were exchanged,
And the Moose marched on, a celebratory night in Occies, in a word, deranged.

ILTM
By Dr Pancakewell and Dr Scarface