Plethora. Smorgasbord. Zenith. These are three words that represent but the tip of the iceberg of Jamie Deans’ extensive vocabulary and are indicative of why he is considerably more important than you.

The. International. Baccalaureate. These are three words which demonstrate that he is substantially more intelligent than you.

Hat. Bleach. Croquet set. These are three things he would rather consume than see ‘damned lefty’s’ in number 10.

Engineers. Shit lids. Shoulders. These are three things more common within the club than victories achieved under his captaincy.

Having battled a debilitating Napoleon complex, Chairman Deans’ meteoric rise in the ‘chien mange chien’ (as Napoleon himself would say) world of club politics is all the more commendable. Sharing both ideological and more so physical traits with Chairman Mao, our Great leader evidently possesses the skillset to extend the golden age of LMD.

We wish him well for the upcoming 16/17 season.

"The best touch player at the club." - Coach Gregg Bayliss