The alarm clock is playing up, on a Thursday it's supposed to play "Glory Glory Man United" and instead it played "Gary Neville is a Red". It's two days out, I'm going to think it's Tuesday all day now.

Felt better when I kissed the bedside photo of Paul Scholes, always a great way to start the day. The wife has gone and put a photo of the kids there as well and says I should kiss that instead. Women eh?!

Filled myself up with Marmite on toast for breakfast. Sky were going to use Mr Marmite as my tag line but Robbie Savage has trademarked it apparently so I need to think of something new. I suggested Mr United but they weren't too keen.

They say that if I'm to take over from Andy Gray I need to be impartial. I am already, any United fan will tell you that. They won't buy it though and yesterday had me strapped to a chair watching replays of controversial refereeing decisions that favoured United.

The idea was that I had to admit when a decision in our favour was wrong and if I didn't then electric currents would go through my skin and cause pain. It was very unfair though as every decision in our favour was correct so it hurt a lot.

I got in trouble when we were watching the videos, a woman who works for Sky said she couldn't believe how biased I was. I told her to shut up, what does she know, probably doesn't even understand the rules of the game, like the rest of them.

They said I couldn't be sexist either on air or off but I had to explain that I wasn't being sexist - it's just that she was a Scouser.

Today I've got to look at pictures of Carlos Tevez without contorting my face.

It had better pay well this job…

I've been ordered to have my goatee removed as they did a test for Sky 3D and apparently people said stray hairs were making them feel itchy.

Good job they've not offered the position to Jamie Carragher as viewers would think they were facing a tsunami every time he spoke, ha ha ha I'm funny me, Rio said so on Twitter.

Yesterday was such a long day, so many good will messages. Bouquets, champagne, cards,

I got a strange one from Merseyside, great big letters made from flowers.

My agent arranged them on the wall and they said I R P, must be some strange Scouse good luck message. Big of them that gesture considering the rivalry.

Well must go, as people always say I'm busy busy!